a fitting room of one’s own

by miramar

fitting-room-under-construction

November 2016 was particularly hard.  I was heartbroken over the new reality post election day.  I’d intended to lay low in the following weeks, with a particular focus of taking naps that I was convinced were crucial to healing and recovery.

Then Boss Babes ATX had an event I couldn’t pass up entitled “Womanhood has no size”.  Despite a desire to cocoon in the comfort of my bed, I wanted to be part of this discussion about inclusivity and body positivity in fashion.

The event was truly my saving grace.  I was able to be among other women who shared my disbelief in the election results.  The formidable panelists also grappled with all the messages about women during the campaign and how it was affecting them too.

And since the discussion was held at ModCloth’s first ever store, I decided to try on a cute denim dress.  While I was in the fitting room I was overwhelmed with feelings.  I was reminded of my own loaded history with what seems like a simple act of entering the dressing room.  There are moments I’d rather not remember, the frustration of not feeling my best trying a certain item on.  It’s always a challenge not to think I’m at fault, that I, or rather my body, did something wrong.  And I’ve found the best way to counter these thoughts is to think about what I say to my clients:

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF.  It’s the clothing that conforms to YOUR body, not the other way around.

When my clients stand in front of a mirror, I’ll ask, “What do you LOVE about your body? Let’s start there.”

And there are lovely moments I’d like to hold close.  When you do a little dance once you’ve got that new favorite piece on, knowing you look goooooood.

One of my all time favorites is my nameplate ring.  My twelve-year-old self convinced my parents that I’d *die* unless I got one in Chinatown.

Processed with VSCO with m3 preset

 

This is me.  Pilipina.  Forever a New Yawker. Partner to Sheree for 16 + years.  And under perpetual construction.

 

 

 

 

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